On the Way Down
by lpy4707
Summary: The office goes back to Lake Scranton to redo beach day. Jim and Pam are having a great time until Pam gets into trouble. This story is cross posted on More Than That. Thanks ISayOye for betaing for me! Please review guys!
1. Chapter 1

Ch

**Ch.1**

"Ready to go, Beesly?" Jim called out his open window as he pulled up to Pam's apartment building.

She slid down off the stoop and walked towards the car. "Hey, what took you so long? We are going to be the last ones at the beach. Michael is probably freaking out that I'm not there to cook the hot dogs."

"I had to turn back because I forgot my swim trunks. But you shouldn't be worried about cooking, because Michael said there would be more than just hotdogs this time, that there would be no tribal battles, and that you could actually have fun. If he even suggests you do anything besides relax I will personally throw him in the lake."

Pam smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek as she got in here seat. She was excited to redo beach day. She had been extremely proud of herself for walking on the hot coals and she was glad that her speech had gotten through to Jim. The rest of beach day was something she felt she didn't really want to remember.

Jim and Pam arrived at the lake and found that most of the office staff had already settled into their day. Dwight was arguing with Oscar about a raft he had brought. Dwight claimed it wasn't an approved flotation device and as appointed safety officer he had to ask him to remove it from the water. Kelly was hanging on Darryl and asking him if she looked hot in her bikini. Michael was trying to get Stanley and Andy to organize people for a game of Survivor. "Simply voluntary" he said to Jim after he had declined the offer.

"Can we go somewhere a bit more private to swim?" Pam asked, "I don't feel like I can relax here."

"I think that is a great idea." Jim replied with a smile "I remember seeing a nice section of beach not far from here."

They walked for a few minutes and found a beautiful stretch of sand to lay their towels on. It was noon and the sun was beating down on them making them sweaty so they got in the water right away and enjoyed a game of tag before deciding to go back to the beach and have some cuddle time.

"I'm glad you went back for your swim trunks. I had no idea what a good swimmer you are. I didn't think I could get such a work out playing tag, but it was really hard to catch you."

"You weren't so bad; I did have a pool growing up and my brother and I used to play swim tag almost daily. I would hold it against you, but you look too cute in that two-piece for me to care about how slow you are"

"I'm not slow! I will have you know that I took six years of swim lessons at camp and I got the award for best breaststroke several times. Besides you have a lot more length then me."

"Call it what you want, but I was faster and you're just bitter that I tagged you it so many times."

"Oh no, I think I see Kelly coming our way. I hope she isn't having a relationship crisis again."

"Hey Pam, can you tie my bathing suit back up? It came undone when I was swimming and I saw Michael with a camera so I don't want to go back there."

"Sure, I can help you."

"I'll just hang out here and try to get a bit tan."

"Thanks Jim! I promise I won't keep her long. I just want to ask you about this situation I'm having with Daryl."

"Ok, well let's swim out to the rocks. It looks like a good place to sit and talk."

Jim stretched out on his towel and watched as Kelly and Pam walked away. He couldn't help but admire how beautiful every part of Pam was. He smiled as he watched her climbing on to the rocks realizing that Kelly was probably going to talk her death. His eyes became heavy and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Jim's eyes suddenly opened and he heard Kelly screaming. "Jim! Help! Pam fell and hit her head. She went under. Help!"


	2. Chapter 2

Ch2

Ch2

Jim wasn't sure what was going on or what had happened. All he knew was he woke up and Pam was no where in sight and Kelly was screaming for help. Before he had even thought about it he had already ran straight into the lake and had swam half way to Kelly. As he got closer he could make out what she was saying.

"Pam slipped on the rocks and hit her head. She went under. Hurry! Please hurry." Kelly was screaming and crying frantically.

He sped up, swimming faster than he had in year and tried to ignore the pain in his legs and arms as he worked muscles he didn't know he had. When he reached Kelly he looked down and saw Pam a few feet below the surface. He took a breath and dove down. He grabbed her around the waist with his left arm and began to kick towards the surface.

"Oh my God, is she okay? Is she breathing?" Kelly began screaming as soon as he surfaced.

"Go to shore and get help, now!" he yelled back forcefully.

He readjusted his grip on Pam and began swimming as fast and as hard as he could toward the shore. Her tiny body felt so heavy, and even though he couldn't bear the thought he knew she wasn't breathing. He thought about stopping mid-swim to deliver a breath to her, but he thought it would be best to get to shore and work on her there. He was kicking like crazy but felt like he was getting nowhere. He kept thinking back to his lifeguard training. He could barely remember anything, but it kept his mind off thoughts that would have otherwise sent him into a full panic.

He could feel the water becoming shallow and realized he could stand. He picked up Pam in his arms and ran as far up the shore as he could before collapsing down. He pushed the hair out of her face, did the chin lift and head tilt that he somehow remembered and placed his ear to her mouth. As he expected there was no exchange of air. Jim pinched Pam's nose, sealed his lips around hers, and blew two slow, full breaths into her lungs. He saw her chest rise and fall with each breath. He placed his fingers to her neck in hopes of finding a pulse.

"Shit!" He couldn't remember all the steps. He knew the landmarks for chest compressions, but he couldn't remember how many to perform. He thought he had learned five, but maybe he had recently read something about it now being thirty. Thirty seemed too many. He couldn't concentrate and he wanted to scream. He shook his head and decided he needed to act.

He placed his hands over Pam's chest and began to push down hard and fast.

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five," he counted under his breath.

He pincher her nose and gave her two breaths again.

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five," he counted again.

_Where the hell is Kelly_ he thought as he gave Pam two more breaths.

"One, Two, Please, Four, Pam," He said fighting back tears.

Two more breaths and he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"One, Please, Three, Please, Five," he whispered.

He thought he heard people coming as he gave her two more breaths.

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five," he counted once more

"Jim, I'm coming, I'm CPR certified!" he heard Dwight yelling as he gave Pam a breath.

Water shot out of her mouth and her chest heaved as she tried to breathe. He gave her another breath before realizing that probably wasn't a good idea. It made her cough so he rolled her on her side and she continued to cough.

Jim dropped down on his elbows. Every part of his body hurt and he felt like he might vomit. He touched Pam's arm and encouraged her to keep coughing. He was so relieved to hear her breathing, but he was terrified that something else would go wrong.

"Move, out of the way, I need to asses the victim!" Dwight yelled as he tried to push Jim away.

"No Dwight, I have it, she's breathing."

"Are you certified? I think not. I will take care of..."

"No…Dwight…I'm ok." Pam gasped as she rolled over onto her back.

"Someone please hand me a towel for her." Jim said looking around at all the stunned faces watching Pam coughing.

"Oh come on people, didn't anyone bring a towel?" Michael asked with an eye roll.

"Angela, just hand me one from over there!" Jim said pointing towards his towel. "How far out is the ambulance?" he added. No one responded to his question.

"Didn't anyone call an ambulance when Kelly told you what was happening?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"I can call one now Jim. I have my phone." Kevin stated.

"It's a bit late now guys. It will be faster for me to just take her." Jim said as he picked Pam up and started walking towards the parking lot.

"Thanks for all your help everyone" Jim said shortly "You all were in rare form today" he added under his breath.

"It's a good thing you wore those swim trunks today." Pam whispered, giving him a weak smile.

The ride to the hospital felt like it was never going to end. Jim could hardly pay attention to the road because he was looking at Pam every five seconds. He was still fuming over the fact that the whole damn office had coming running over to see what was going on and not one of them had done anything productive.

"Hey, stay awake for me Pam." he said giving her hand a little squeeze.

"I'm just so tired and sore." Pam moaned.

"I know, but I need you to stay awake till a doctor gives you the ok to sleep."

"What if they tell me I can't sleep? My head hurts so badly and my chest feels like an elephant was sitting on it. I need to sleep."

"I know, I'm so sorry Pam, I…I shouldn't have left you out there. I'm sorry I hurt your chest, I…" Jim couldn't finish his sentence. He knew why Pam's chest hurt so badly but he could not let himself return to those moments. He couldn't picture her laying there lifeless anymore or he really would lose it.

"Jim, please don't apologize." Pam said in a worried tone "You saved my life, and it's not your fault for leaving us out there. Kelly needed me and I mean you did what you had to do."

Jim swallowed hard and gave her a weak smile. He couldn't speak because he knew his voice would break. He wanted to let it out, he wanted to hold her and cry and kiss her and make her feel better. He just needed to get her to the hospital so they could care for her properly. He turned his concentration to getting there as fast as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

"This is Pam, Pam Beesly and she almost drowned not long ago." Jim stated to the triage nurse when they arrived at the ER "Her head was bleeding, she wasn't breathing, and I think she has a concussion. She wants to go to sleep, but I won't let her."

"Sir, calm down and let's get you over to registration so they can get all your information."

"What? No you don't understand she was really hurt. She almost died and she has injuries and I can't keep her awake anymore."

"She looks awake to me. Miss, can you tell me your name and what today is?"

"I'm Pam Beesly and today is Friday June 6th. My head does hurt, but I can stay awake."

"Ok well this is Darla and she will get you registered and we will see you as soon as we can."

Jim watched as the nurse walked away and felt a sudden surge of anger. Pam was hurt and they wanted her to register before they could see her. He would have given them all the information they wanted while they took care of Pam. He sat quietly listening as Pam gave Darla her insurance card and personal information. When she was done he helped her to a seat in the waiting room and sat nervously watching other sick and injured people file in.

"See if someone would have called an ambulance you would have been seen right away" Jim said as he watched an elderly man be wheeled to an examine room by EMT's "That guy looks perfectly fine to me."

"Jim he looks like he's eighty and he's holding his chest. He's probably having a heart attack for God's sake. I think he is priority over small head injury. In fact I think I could probably go home and just go to my doctor on Monday morning."

"Are you crazy? You almost died and I may have broken your ribs. How do you know your head isn't really damaged either?"

"Pam Beesly." The triage nurse called from the waiting room doorway. Pam was thankful that she didn't have to answer Jim's questions.

The examine room was cold and sterile. Pam hated sitting on the edge of the bed in a hospital gown being looked over by people she didn't know. All she wanted to do was go home and get some sleep. She felt like an idiot for slipping on the rocks and was getting tired of repeating the parts she remembered to the hospital staff. Most of all she was worried about Jim who had said little since they had entered the examine room. He had told the triage nurse everything he knew about the incident and had repeated the story twice for the other nurse and the doctor. Pam could tell that he was uncomfortable speaking about it and that each time he had repeated it he had been quieter and more sullen.

Jim was playing with the ties of his swim trunks, avoiding Pam's eyes, but listening intently to everything the nurses and doctor were saying. He wasn't angry at Pam for her comment, he wasn't hurt either, just worried. He was worried that she didn't understand how injured she had been and worried that she wouldn't rest as much as she would need to. He hated seeing her pain.

"Your x-rays look fine Ms. Beesly and your lungs are clear and healthy." the doctor stated. "Your ribs are not broken but your sternum is bruised. It's not anything to worry about, it's just painful."

"How long will she be pain?"

"She will probably be sore for two to three days, but it will lessen each day and Motrin will help."

"What about her head? Are you going to scan it and make sure everything is normal?"

"You do have a mild concussion, but I don't think an MRI is necessary. I am prescribing an antibiotic for you because you inhaled some dirty lake water. Otherwise you are fine to go home and I will see you in my office on Thursday for a follow-up."

"She is ok to go home? Are you sure you don't want to keep her and monitor her? She nearly died, don't they keep people to make sure nothing else goes wrong?"

"No Mr. Halpert, there is no need to keep her overnight. The threat to her life has passed and she will do fine with some rest. Besides, I'm sure you will be watching her close enough."

Pam and the nurse convinced Jim that she could walk to the car on her own. She fell asleep almost immediately. Jim was glad because he didn't want her to see him crying, because he just couldn't help it anymore. The tears were silently falling all over the steering wheel and his hands were shaking. He had almost lost her and wasn't sure he could ever get that thought out of his.

"I'm so sorry Pam" he whispered as her stroked he arm.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch4

**Ch4**

Pam sat looking out the window and wondering how Jim would be when he came over after work. She knew he would leave right at five o'clock if not earlier. He would come to her apartment, cook dinner, clean up after, and stay the night. He wouldn't let her lift a finger or he would not take a moment to relax.

As she watched his car pull up to the curb she wished that maybe tonight would be different. Maybe he would be Jim again. Maybe he would be the Jim who laughed, who held her, who let her in his head even when he was trying not to.

"How was your day? How are you feeling?" Jim asked before giving Pam a kiss on the cheek.

"It was a bit boring. I drew, read a little, talked to my mom, and tried to nap. I am feeling really good though. My mom said she would stop by tomorrow for lunch to keep me company."

"That sounds like a good idea." Jim said with a half smile. "I'm going to go change and then start dinner."

Pam watched him walking down the hall. She just wanted him to tell her what was wrong. She thought back to Saturday morning when she had told him her parents were coming to visit. He had seemed so uncomfortable and then he had the most relieved look on his face when she had told him her dad wouldn't be able to make. It just didn't make sense to her because Jim had always gotten along great with her parents.

"Hey Jim, my mom wanted me to tell you that she is sorry if she made you uncomfortable on Saturday. She was just feeling really emotional and she isn't one to keep that kind of stuff in."

She could see the surprise on his face as he walked back up the hall towards her. On Saturday her mom had been talking to her and laughing with her and had just suddenly thrown her arms around Jim and cried, thanking him several times for "saving her baby girl". Pam had been completely embarrassed, but even more than that she knew that it had made Jim uneasy. He had hugged her mom back and told her it was ok, but Pam could see in his eyes that he was unsure of what to say or do.

"Oh, it's ok. I mean tell her not to be sorry. She didn't do anything wrong."

"She just felt bad for making such a scene. She just cries easily and she had been really stressed Friday night after I called her."

"I know she was just worked up. I really like her and I know she wasn't trying to bother me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About your mom?"

"Yeah, well no, not just about my mom. Do you want to talk about how you feel?"

"I'm fine Pam. I, I just want to help you get better."

Pam wanted to say more, but she didn't know where to start. She didn't need to get better, because nothing was wrong. She felt fine physically and all she wanted was for Jim to talk to her. She knew something was bothering him and she was sure it had to do with everything that had happened on Friday.

"I love you, Jim." Pam whispered in his ear as she got into bed that night.

"I love you too."

Pam laid awake watching Jim sleep. She wanted to help him, but he didn't want to open up to her. It hurt her to think that he was pulling away from her emotionally. She stayed awake for sometime thinking of all that had happened and wishing she knew what to do to get him to be himself again.

On Wednesday afternoon Pam was excited for Jim to come to her apartment. She had been working on a drawling for him the past few days and was anxious to hear what he thought.

"Hey, you look happy." Jim said with a small smile as he entered the door.

"I have something for you. I've been working on it since Monday. I have been drawling so much the past few days, but I have been putting most of my attention into this. What do you think?"

"That's me" he said starring down at the drawling and felt like he was looking in a mirror.

"Yeah, it's you. You don't like it?"

"It's great Pam. It looks just like me. Did you do this freehand?"

"Yeah, I've really missed you the past few days and I just kept picturing you in my mind. I loved drawling it."

"I have missed you being at work too. But believe me there is nothing exciting going on there. "

Pam smiled at him. That wasn't exactly what she had meant when she said she missed him. Of course she missed being at work with him, but what she really missed was their conversations, the times spent laughing together, him holding her and being totally content and relaxed. She felt like she hadn't seen him relax in days.

Jim gave her a kiss on the cheek and pulled her close to him. "I love it, Pam. I love you."

Pam sat in traffic Thursday afternoon. She was on her way home from her doctor appointment and was starting to regret not letting Jim come. She hadn't wanted him to waste vacation hours just to come along. She knew things were fine and she didn't see a point in him coming. She knew though that Jim would be concerned if he got to her place before she did. Her phone battery had died and she was still ten minutes away, stuck in horrific traffic.

"Pam. Are you ok? I've been trying to get a hold of you for the past twenty minutes."

"I am so sorry I couldn't call. My phone battery died and I was stuck in traffic just a few miles away. There was an accident and it took them forever to clear it up. I didn't see much, but what was left over when I passed made it look like it had been pretty bad."

"Yeah, I know. It was on the radio when I was driving home. I figured you might get stuck in it, but then you didn't answer your phone. It just had me nervous."

"I didn't think my appointment would take so long."

"How did it go? Is everything ok? Your head and stuff is all normal right?"

"Yes Jim, my head is just as good as ever. He said I'm as healthy as if it had never happened."

"Good. So, you'll be able to go back to work on Monday?"

"Actually he said it is ok for me to go back tomorrow if I want to. I think I probably will because I am just really sick of staying home by myself all day.'

"Do you really think you're ready to go back?"

"Jim, he said it is ok. I feel perfectly fine and he said if any other doctor were to look at me today they would have no clue what happened to me unless I told them."

Jim put his arms around her. "I had no idea what I expected him to say, but I'm just glad you are doing so well."

"I wasn't sure what to expect either. I knew I felt so much better, but I had no clue what he would think. He said I was really lucky. He said that if you hadn't acted so quickly it could have been a lot worse. He was really impressed."

"I had no clue what I was doing, Pam. I was a lifeguard in high school, but I haven't been trained in years. I just kind of threw together what I could remember and hoped like hell it would work. It was nothing impressive at all."

"Well, I am impressed. I have my own personal lifeguard to take with me to the beach. A sexy lifeguard no less." She pulled his hips closer to her and kissed the side of his neck. "A lifeguard who has yet to get his reward for saving me."

"No, I don't need a reward. I don't expect you to do anything special for me because of what happened."

"Oh, come on. Haven't you seen any action movies? The hero saves the girl, she kisses him and cuddles him, and then next seen you see them lying under the sheets smiling and hear breathing heavy. Even Michael thinks you deserve a hero party. He told me about the one he is having for you tomorrow."

"It really wasn't like that at all. I was far from heroic and I've already told Michael not to have a party for me. I am getting really sick of people at work making a big deal about this and Andy calling me 'big lifeguard' every time he sees me."

"Yeah, I can just imagine what they are saying about me. I'm sure Angela thinks I did something stupid to end up in that position to begin with. Michael and the rest of them are probably having a good laugh about the silly little receptionist who hit her head." Pam was trying not to be mean, but her patience with Jim was wearing thin. She wanted him to laugh with her, to open up to her, but nothing she did seemed to work.

"Pam, I really think they were genuinely concerned for you and no one is has been making fun of you. I just don't need you starting in on all this crap about me being some kind of hero."

"It's not crap to me. I have been trying all week to talk to you. I want you to stop hiding from me and tell me how you feel. I'm the one who almost died, Jim. I have no idea what exactly happened to me because all I get is the bits and pieces I've heard you telling people. I've been trying to process this all week, but I've been so worried about you that I haven't even had a chance to get the full story." Pam yelled in response.

"I'm sorry. I am. It's just I don't want to go there. I can't right now, I don't know what else to tell you or anyone else, because I can't think back to that moment. I won't think about it."

Deciding it was best to let things cool off, Pam walked to her room and shut the door. She sat on the edge of her bed crying. She heard him come in about an hour later. "Here is some soup," he said as he sat a bowl down on her dresser. He looked at her for a second and started to open his mouth. He looked down at the ground and turned around back out the door. When Pam went to go brush her teeth at eight she saw him curled up sleeping on the sofa.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch

Ch. 5

The next morning Jim and Pam ran into each other in her bathroom. He gave her a weak smile and apologized for yelling. She told him she was sorry too and they shared a quick hug. Pam still felt horrible, but she was also still irritated with his lack of communication.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" Jim asked.

"Yes, I can't stand being at home anymore. It's so boring being here all day." She replied

"It's a Friday anyway Pam, why not just skip today and go back Monday?"

"No, I really want to go in. Besides today is party they are throwing and Michael said it's just as much for me as it is you. I feel like I should be there."

"Not that stupid party, I told Michael I don't want a party. If he wants to celebrate your return then fine. I think that is a great idea, but the party shouldn't be about me."

Pam didn't say anything back. She just continued to get ready because she didn't want to have another fight with him.

When Jim and Pam arrived at work they were greeted by a large banner that read "JIM HELPERT; DUNDER MIFFLIN HERO" hanging on the wall. Jim rolled his eyes and made to turn around, but Pam grabbed him and pushed him into the office. Everyone was waiting and burst out into applause when they saw Jim.

Michael had decided that the whole day was devoted to celebrating Jim's heroism and Pam's return to work. The whole office was decorated in a "lifeguard" theme and they had even bought a stuffed duck dressed as a lifeguard to put on Jim's desk. He was doing a pretty good job of putting the incident out of his mind. He also tried to ignore all the comments that were being flung his way. He knew everyone meant well, but he was on the verge of screaming. It was when they all sat down to have their lunch that things got bad.

"Oh my God, Pam, Jim was so amazing. He swam at like lighting speed and was just like all calm and prepared. When he was giving you mouth to mouth he was so gentle and romantic." Kelly was flightily saying to Pam.

"Wow, you got to do CPR on Pam. Her body is so amazing." Kevin said stupidly.

"Oh yeah, I would give her some mouth to mouth any day" Michael chimed in.

"Oh CPR is no laughing matter people," began Dwight "I mean Pam is just lucky that Jim's feeble attempts at resuscitation worked. You are now supposed to do thirty chest compressions not five. Additionally, he should have been stabilizing her neck incase it had been injured."

It was Dwight's comment that hit Jim the hardest. He couldn't sit back and listen anymore. He stood up, filled with furry, regret, and the overwhelming sense that he needed to put an end to this nonsense.

Jim stormed out of the room avoiding Pam's eyes as he left. Everyone stood frozen. Pam looked around at everyone trying to figure out what to do. Michael began to follow Jim.

"Michael, wait I will go talk to him" Pam called out.

"No, I've got it. Something is clearly bugging him and as one of his best buds I'm sure he needs me."

Pam watched as Michael closed the door to the staircase, shoeing her away with his hand. She decided that maybe he was right. Jim hadn't opened up to her all week, perhaps he was looking to talk with some one else. She had just begun to walk back towards the office when she heard Jim start talking. She walked back towards the door so she could hear.

"I asked you not to have this party. I practically begged you! Don't you get it? I don't want to celebrate anything surrounding that day."

"I just thought it would be fun to hang out with the gang and enjoy the fact that we have Pam back."

"Then I wish you would have just had a party for Pam. People keep saying stupid things to me about how brave and strong I was. Even you sat there and joked with Kevin about how great it would be to have been in my place."

"I didn't mean anything like that Jim. We were just saying that of all the people to have to save, Pam is a top choice."

"It's not like that though. Do you think I enjoyed watching the woman I love slipping away, thinking I may never be able to tell her I love her again, thinking it was my fault for not watching her, for not swimming fast enough? Pam was lying on the ground in front of me lifeless and limp! I had to practically break her ribs to get her heart started. I had to breathe into her blue lips while I wondered if they would ever be warm again. It felt horrible and I was scared out of my mind. Not one of you did a damn thing to help either!"

"I'm sorry bro. I wish I could have done more. It's just Kelly came running at us yelling something about Pam hitting her head and maybe drowning. We weren't sure what was going on and no one had time to think. Even Dwight looked a bit panicked and he took off faster than anyone."

"Yeah, well now Dwight wants to sit there and berate me for doing things wrong. Well you know what, it worked, what I did worked. It wasn't perfect, but it worked. Pam was dead and I did what was needed to bring her back!"

"Dwight is just being an idiot. Let's just go back and try to enjoy the rest of the party. I will make sure no one says anything stupid to you."

"If it's ok I think I would just rather go take a walk and come back later."

"Sure buddy, whatever you need to do."

Pam tried to back away as Michael opened the door, but she was too late. Jim looked up and saw her standing there with tears in her eyes. She started to walk towards him, but he shook his head and held his hand up. She knew he hadn't indented for her to hear what he had said to Michael. She knew she should not have been listening at the door, but it had been like having a real conversation with Jim for the first time since she had been injured.

She watched as Jim walked quickly up the stairs knowing that he was going to the roof, because that is where he always went when he needed to get away from the office. Part of her wanted to just let him be by himself, but deep down she knew now was the time he needed her most. She had already heard everything he had been trying to keep bottled up. There was no way to take that back, but at least she could try to speak with him and tell him how she felt.

After a few minutes of debating it over in her head Pm decided to go find Jim. As soon as she opened the door to the roof she spotted him. He was sitting, hugging his knees, shaking and tearful. He looked like a little boy who had just awoke from his worst nightmare.

"Jim, I'm sorry. Please…"

"No, don't apologize." Jim said firmly reaching up and grabbing her. "You did nothing wrong, Pam. I… I am so sorry you had to hear that," he choked out. "I never wanted you to have to hear about that, you shouldn't have to think about it."

"Neither should you," she said caressing his face. "But I'm glad I heard it. I needed to know those things. I wish you would have just told me how you were feeling before. I wish you hadn't gone through that here at work, but I'm glad I know. I have been so worried about you the past few days and I have had no idea what to say."

"I know and I'm sorry I've been such a jerk." He replied. "I should have just told you, but it was so hard. I have never been through anything like that."

Jim pulled Pam closer to him. He was shaking uncontrollably and she could feel his tears soaking her shoulder. She pulled his face up to hers and kissed him. She kissed at his tears, his trembling lips, and his cheek. She wouldn't let him look down. She wasn't letting him go through this alone anymore.

"I can only imagine," Pam said kissing his temple. "Yesterday I was thinking about how I would react if you… I admire you so much for how you handled the situation and I only made jokes because I had no idea what else to say. I was dead and you brought me back to life. I feel closer to you than I can even begin to explain. I love you."

"Thank you," Jim whispered into her ear. "It hurt more than anything to almost lose you, but I would save you over and over if I had to."

"Can I please take you home?" Pam asked him. "All I have wanted to do all week is hold you and tell that I love you."

"Yes, please take me home and hold me. I want to hold you too."


End file.
